Mindsight

At the park Sons and Friend having fun w water guns. Friend was curious about son’s version. Son wasn’t ready to share. Friend became agitated. Later Friend chased Sons w a stick. My sons forming a team, excluding Friend.

Tonight Son shared he played a trick. If Friend gave back a borrowed gun then son would lend the highly coveted one. Friend handed gun back. Son said instead of giving the coveted version, he gave Friend a stick.

After I held space for that makes total sense about your stick trade. You weren’t ready to share so you came up w a creative solution. I asked how do you think Friend feels? Tension filled the room field. Son quietly said bad. Yeah friend must have felt bad. Any guess why? Son shrugged, another remained silent.

I said Friend trusted you, he felt lied to. The agreement wasn’t kept. Friend’s angry came out. His angry came out because angry is sad’s bodyguard. Sad feels small. Angry feels big. To make Friend big again, his angry came to protect his sad heart.

Ooof.

Remorse and inner critic shame filled the field.

Pause. Holding.

This one landed in deep. I shared a childhood story, letting them know, me too.

Conversation continued. We are powerful because we have a choice with what we do w anger. How can we safely express anger? What are the natural consequences of continued aggression in relationships?

Teaching to separate people from their behaviour and mindsight. How people serve us and we serve them in learning and growing.

I celebrated them for staying w processing. For their courage and humility in seeing and learning about themselves. Exploring personal power in relationships. Compassion.

I reminded them this is why we are here. To learn from Love, to return to Love and all the wild explorations in between on this journey called Life. It is ALL learning and you are ok. I am w you. I will always love you no matter what. We can ride discomfort, stay curious.

Love,

Charmaine

Melbourne, 02.03.2022